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Joined: Jul 2008 Gender: Female  Posts: 104 Karma: 0 |  | Anna Li Sian « Thread Started on Oct 10, 2008, 3:56pm » | |
Anna Sian, a Filipina American born and raised in the East Village, NYC, majored in psychology at Dartmouth College in NH. She grew up under the mentorship of poets such as Beau Sia and Ishle Park at the Asian American Writers Workshop in NY and gets her inspiration from the New York poetry scene; the Nuyorican Poet's Cafe, Bowery Poetry Club and Urbana at CBGB are her second, third, and fourth homes, and not necessarily in that order. Anna won second place in a citywide poetry contest for the Bertelsmann Foundation in 2003 and competed at UC Berkeley with the 2004 Dartmouth team for the National College Unions Poetry Slam. She thrives off Hip Hop and mangoes, and loves to write about love.
"spring giants"
I would hand over Hanover in a New York heartbeat. The ba-boom boom beats faster where sidewalk strangers brush shoulders like ghost magnets and rush past, they post questions like como te llamas and where's the fire on cotton shirts, as the domino effect of unintentional taps sends blasts of electromagnetic zaps.
Here, I’m April's fool cursing flower buds for starting over ‘cuz we warmed each other as winter lovers naked trees, like our naked knees kissed each other as bitter winter winds swept through their limbs
in your last days with me, we kept low profiles like color-changing reptiles chameleons drinking chamomile and belly crawling at bedtime, taking turns turning into one another
and icicles that dangled off roof shingles like dripping glass snow cones and frozen noses that tingled like post-punch knucklebones justified our staying home alone
now, the rain cries for me and mud grabs my heels like it never wants me to leave. feet grieve over bootprints like miniature graves, depressions in dirt, prevention of rebirth as desperate blades of grass are slashed as i pass.
my ankles bask in mud baths, as spring springs up faster than the pangs of a natural disaster, and like a rocket ship blast that ripped past you zoomed off and left me with some lonely-ass whiplash.
Hanover winds leave heavy handprints on black-penciled eyelids, though fresher than the prince northern winds sting more than the world's strongest breath mints i wince when they blow like oboes like tiny Pacquiao blows to the nose
my lungs would be happier if we were breathing the same air.
(i crave the unwavering nature of warm southern vapors infused with subtle spice flavors and thin-crusted empanada whiffs to savor as they hang and hover over your shoulders like wounded soldiers)
i beat dirty gravel until it thins out into fine concrete. i grind earthworm carcasses with rainboots until they resemble subway gum stains. i thread stars into a necklace until it stretches out to form the Williamsburg Bridge's night lights.
I am an ant in the great outdoors who wishes to be the giant on the fortieth floor— she who reigns by windowsills, crushes SUVs in their asphalt rivers with one thumb and laughs at rooftop sunbathers for thinking the sun is theirs alone.
From below, we would be two dancing shadows of giants that bounce on the twos and fours and float from window to window.
*
"the pinay speaks of rivers"
I’ve known rivers: I’ve known rivers of memory that drip drop drip drop like the music of my childhood water flows through me in the form of ancient icons of hip hop like the Fugees and MJ I have bathed in the sounds of famous voices echoing off of a tired, rusty radio doing the eight-year old “running man” through static like it’s part of the effect because music sends messages to my spine and bends it into crooked lines
I’ve seen rivers that move swiftly like my slender fingers, nimble hands gracing the baby grand piano delicately as if it was the new pair of Nike’s I was scared to crease rivers of inspiration and introspection whose currents travel from my head to my pen the drip drop of ink as it takes the form of my soul and captures life like tadpoles in written words on looseleaf
I’ve known rivers more ancient than the long misplaced smiles replaced by lines of age on faces of fathers, these traces of trauma each emulate the Nile all the while, the drip drop drip drip continues like rain on rice plantations where weary men bend and break their backs in the sun in order to feed their young men like these fill up Filipino family trees like Autumn leaves that each has his time to fall
I swam in the Yellow River until it dyed my skin as a reminder at times I carry this color like a cross rather than advertising it proudly on highway billboards I am neither dark asphalt nor white lines of paint I dance in the middle as the yellow-dotted misfit but yellow does not define me I am defined by a double set of historical players not only JFK and Uncle Sam but also Jose Rizal and Carlos Bulosan I am defined by the drip drip swooshhh of crimson rivers, tinted by the blazing blood of hundreds of thousands of life-givers, my ancestors I am defined by ripe mangoes, unbearable heat and indigenous drumbeats
I’ve known rivers I’ve known rivers more beautiful than a mother’s heart warmer than Jasmine tea, fuller than the lips that whisper stories of my past late at night while I curl up like an insect her sunken eyes like shipwrecks tears drip drip drip drop…trickles of salty water baptize my body.
I’ve known rivers Passionate, powerful rivers that carry pieces of my life on their shoulders and will soon pass through me when I get older onto my unborn children and theirs my heart has grown full like the rivers.
*
"lost history"
I’m rehashing flashbacks like blast from the past of solemn songs sung by my sisters Muslim gongs rung under Reversed skies, rehearsed by the warmth of backwards winters no blizzards, just geckos and sticky lizards floating like feathers remember December in sticky weather?
Do you remember the time?
I remember, even when high school history class textbooks bypass a people, condense a culture into a line or two about the Philippine-American war and even then, emphasize “American” there’s no room in the classroom for stories of rebellion, re-colonization labeled as “liberation” losing lives in someone else’s war for false promises of freedom stealing resources and selling it back for twice the price no, students be consumed by the fumes of apathy made pretty by the biased disseminators of the nation’s information what’s the 411 hun? For one, I’ll leave your cerebral a little less feeble for one, I bear too heavy a conscience the conscious are few with consciousness lies truth truth lies in a gutter run over by lies, misconceptions and stereotypes by “go home, immigrant,” doused with diatribes and subtle ignorance like “what areyou?” What am I?
What the fuck are you talking about? I’ll teach you a little lesson your school curriculum left out.
I am not your pretty little hello kitty ching chang china doll with Chun Li buns and karate kicks I don’t rock school girl outfits or model for import cars I don’t avoid eye contact, or giggle with a pitch that only dogs can hear I don’t pose with peace signs for sticker booth pictures I don’t get my hair straightened when it’s already straight Or dye it red to black to red and back until I forget the hue my ancestors knew
I am a product of plump mangoes and dirt roads water buffalos and Spanish clothes funny accents and flip flops reconfigured to mingle with New York City hip hop I am a product of words you’ve never heard of And I’m not here to preach it the mic I am just a poet who perceived a little light
But they only see me as non-white And they cloned my face and posted it on pages of pornos asking “is your pussy slanted too?” and I became a fake creation of male imagination an Asian flower to be devoured, who begs to give head a pasty-faced geisha in a skimpy kimono who’ll bone ‘ya and call you master in bed They say “how you doin’ China Doll, cmon baby, wassup, you don’t speak English?” I speak English better than you do, motherfucker, and how’s THIS for China Doll cuteness? Sticks and stones may break my bones but sometimes The wrong words can hurt in places Sticks and stones Can’t Reach
today I am the lone poet on the six train clutching my repressed retorts in a closed fist and spitting them out like confetti onto thirsty paper my dreams may be deferred but they are still unyielding I rub these wounds in hopes of healing
![[image] [image]](http://shayepoet.com/conference/authors/AmbahanonBambooslide1c.jpg)
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